The Art Of Karaoke

Went out on a karaoke night to celebrate a mate's birthday. The buffet dinner provided at the premises was excellent. The standard of singing was not.

Nevertheless, karaoke is certainly an entertaining activity, particularly with a fun group of friends. When engaging in karaoke, I think there should be a code of conduct or certain etiquette people should adhere to in order to prevent others from groaning and rolling their eyes.

For starters, trying to out-shout each other when there are multiple singers is not clever. It tends to get rather noisy and the singing sounds even more off pitch than normal because no-one can hear themselves. When it comes to volume, a good rule of thumb is: "Less is more".

Do not hog the microphone. It's amusing how people can't resist gripping on firmly to that hard, phallus-like object. Even when they're not singing. Microphones should be made available to all especially if you sound crap anyway. Sharing is caring.

If the microphone is not working, don't continually bash it while mouthing off abuse. Try switching it on. That should do the trick.

Song selection tells others a lot about your musical tastes, level of sophistication and possibly even your sexuality. A varied mix is the suggestion. Playing consecutive songs of "Westlife" or "The Village People" is especially frowned upon.

Alcohol not only makes other people look more attractive, it tends to make people think they are rock stars. As a general guideline, alcohol will not make your singing sound good unless everyone else is more drunk than you.

"The Greatest Love Of All" and "I Will Always Love You" should only be performed by Whitney Houston. Mere mortals who attempt to sing these songs within the confines of a karaoke room where people can't escape, are being intolerably cruel to their friends.

Right, I'll get my coat.....

Juice Detox Diet

I bought a food processor/juicer today at a funky-smelling department store manned by lazy, unprofessional staff. But enough about “Jusco”. Back to the story about the juicer.....

For those of you who live off meat, sweets and junk food, I'm talking about an appliance that crushes fruit and vegetables into liquid form. I’ve been on a detox diet of 80% fruit and vegetables since the start of the month and it can get tiresome munching on all this healthy stuff all of the time.

I figured it would be much easier to ingest this bitter-tasting health food as quickly as possible by turning it into liquid and then downing it in a few big gulps. Also I quite like the sound the machine makes when I crush the various shards of fruit and vegetables into a messy pulp. *eye roll*

This is actually my first detox diet and juicing is definitely the way to go. There is little preparation time involved and you can make many different concoctions. Still, how I miss all the tasty junk food that calls out to me everytime I pass a fast food franchise.

The annoying thing with eating all this healthy stuff is that you always get hungry. My stomach is indeed rumbling again. In fact, I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.....radish. Time to fire up the juicer posthaste!

Right, I'll get my coat.....

Gay Games VII Chicago

I'm a big sports fan and for me this week has seemed kind of empty following the completion last Sunday of the World Cup in Germany and the tennis at Wimbledon. My impression from the blogosphere is that other people are suffering similar withdrawal symptoms from viewing elite athletes representing their country in rigorous sporting endeavours.

But fear not sports fans! Grab your rainbow flags because there is just 1 more sleep to go until the 7th Gay Games kicks off in Chicago. Homosexual competitors from 70 countries have descended on the "Windy City" to participate in 30 disciplines.

Most of these events are your typical sports while some events are more questionable. Dancesport is being featured and so is darts. Interestingly, there is no boxing. I guess there will be more lovers than fighters at the Gay Games. The most unique event I noticed was one called "Physique". I assume you have to turn up and look hot to do well.

It should be a very festive, merry and gay occasion in Chicago over the following week. I just hope no athletes get disqualified for testing positive to heterosexuality. From the looks of the athletes I doubt it.

Right, I'll get my coat.....