Wednesday, May 30, 2007


Well, that's the opinion of my QANTAS frequent flyer friend. Let's call him "Gav" so people won't know his real name is Gavin. Anyway, my mate "Gav" is seething. He has lambasted the service of this airline as disgraceful. Maybe my mate "Gav" is just upset because the QANTAS stewardess only gave him a packet of peanuts while actor Ralph Fiennes got the mile high sex in the bathroom treatment on his flight from Darwin to Mumbai.

Now I don't like to bag Australian companies, especially one that has been such an enduring icon of Aussie industry.....But I will anyway.

Passengers were recently asked to rate different airlines in a survey conducted by Choice Magazine. As you can see from the results, QANTAS did exceptionally poor even in comparison with Malaysia Airlines and Thai Airways.

Meanwhile, Singapore Airlines blitzed all of their rivals. Their board of executives must get sexually aroused everytime they glance at these survey results. I know I get quite excited when analysing meaningful statistical figures.

The bottom line is QANTAS scored very low on all categories of service. They have disgraced themselves and disgraced all Australians living around the world. So yeah, what a crap airline. Let's flame them!

First of all, what a ridiculous name. The word "QANTAS" doesn't even have the letter "U" after the "Q". Pfff! What a bunch of spelling NOOBS.

If you remove the letter "Q" from the airline's name and re-arrange the letters, you get the word "SATAN". The airline is obviously full of devil worshippers.

Another thing I've noticed is that QANTAS male stewards are a bit too, well, "male". Don't they realise that passengers feel less threatened when served by a bunch of girly men? Malaysia Airlines have the right idea with their effeminate stewards in their girly green suits.

As for the stewardesses, why do QANTAS hire ex-high class prostitutes to work only in the first class section? Why aren't there sluts to service the economy passengers too? Like in Singapore Airlines.

The corporate logo of QANTAS is a flying kangaroo. There are so many Australian animals out there that fly, like the kookaburra. But the dumbasses decided "Hey, let's pick a kangaroo and pretend it does".

Did you know that QANTAS are one of the few airlines out there that have never had a serious plane accident resulting in many deaths? By that rationale, if something hasn't happened in such a long time, surely it's going to happen sooner or later. QANTAS is obviously an airline disaster waiting to happen.

So that's it. I shall no longer be eating their airline food, stealing their blankets, requesting for their free decks of cards or ogling their stewardesses.....Until the next biased airlines survey comes out.

Right, I'll get my coat.....

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Sunday, May 27, 2007

Domino's Pizza Online Coupon Code

Altruism (al-troo-iz-uhm) noun - The principle or practice of unselfish concern for or devotion to the welfare of others. (as opposed to egoism)

NERD Altruism - Giving away online codes for cheap pizza.

Domino's has felt the compulsion to inform me by electronic mail that the school holidays are upon us in Malaysia (Truly Asia). Their strangely appealing marketing suggestion is that one should purchase pizza from their plethora of outlets to commemorate this occasion.

With the following code "EMSB3" one may purchase online, one large pizza, one regular pizza and a large bottle of Coca-Cola for RM34.80. But wait, there's more. They'll also chuck in a free "CinnaStix", which is a strange cross between a loaf of bread and a donut. To quote from Mick "Crocodile" Dundee....."You can eat it but it tastes like shit".

Despite my godlike will power and gargantuan mental strength, I feel I am not able to contain myself any longer and I shall be visiting their website to place my pizza order within the next 24 hours. Resistance is useless methinks. I could try not to order Domino's in the next 24 hours but I would not be successful. It would be an act in futility.

So go forth my skinny Malaysian friends.....Order away! Save yourself from that vulgar task of ordering over the phone in Manglish and achieve true nerd status instead by buying your pizzas online. No mix-ups and no ghastly rehearsed marketing spiels.

Code expires 30th June 2007.

Right, I'll get my coat.....

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