Junk Food Addict

I've started a health cleansing diet for the first time in my life. The many years of consuming fried treats, fast food and carbonated drinks has taken its toll. I'm still slim but the excess of delicious crap being fed into the system has recently caused a health scare or two.

So for at least this month, I shall be limited to a diet of:

80% raw fruit and vegetables

20% fish, eggs and nuts

which equates to 100% torture, for a junk food addict anyway. Beverage consumption is limited to water only, 6-8 glasses daily.

The signs that one is a junk food addict should be obvious, particularly if the following is true:

1) You have the website for "Dominos Pizza" bookmarked in your favourites folder for online ordering, and delivery phone numbers are set on your speed dial.

2) Whenever a Malay dude whizzes past on his scooter in the street, you immediately think of fast food delivery.

3) You start recognising the faces of the pizza/McDonalds delivery dudes and other fast food staff when you run into them away from their workplace.

4) You can name all the fast food outlets in your city that are open 24 hours and the ones with "drive-thru".

5) 50% of the mass in your garbage is comprised of pizza boxes, burger packaging, soft drink containers, branded serviettes and various unused condiments.

6) You set your alarm so you can wake up before McDonalds stop serving their breakfast menu.

7) You check your postbox in the hope that there might be fast food discount vouchers.

8) If you ever get lost, your emergency plan is to order fast food delivery to your address and hitch a ride back home with the delivery guy.

And finally.....If you look like this!

Right, I'll get my coat.....