Dogs Are Better Than Cats

I got scratched by a cat the other day. A big, overweight, unfit, fat, orange cat. A grumpy one too. In fact, it looked and acted a lot like Garfield.

There I was trying to make friends with this orange tub of lard while trying to distract it from the bunch of flowers it wasn't supposed to be sniffing when suddenly.....WHOOSH! It took a huge swipe at my hand with its obese, lumpy excuse for a paw. Perfect aim too. Ouch!

Cats can be so moody and aloof. It's sickening: The pompous way they prowl around and fuss over their fur by licking themselves incessantly. Pffff! Give me the company of a dog any day.

Dogs tend to be more playful and they can be endearingly foolish. That's why I reckon most people enjoy their presence so much. We get our kicks from watching them run into things, bark at inanimate objects, chase their own tails and hump soft toys. A dog also won't easily get bored of fetching things you throw for them. A cat will just ignore you.

Most dog owners, whether they admit it or not, also like the assurance a dog brings. Think of your own dog. When you come home, they thinks it's amazing. You walk in the door and the joy of this experience overwhelms them. They jump around excitedly wagging their tails....HE'S BACK! IT'S THAT DUDE! THAT DUDE WHO HOUSES AND PLAYS WITH ME!

They can't believe it. Everything about you is amazing to your dog. When dinner time comes around.....WHAT? ANOTHER PACKET OF FOOD? I DON'T BELIEVE IT. THIS DUDE IS A LEGEND!

So the next time you're in a foul mood because you had a bad day or your favourite sporting team just lost, don't take it out on your dog. Go outside and find a stray cat in the street to kick instead.

Right, I'll get my coat.....