Don't You Just Love The French?

They really are ridiculous people. French people try to be so artistic, refined and act so pompous to the rest of the world as if they're better, even though they've never even won a military conflict. The French can be such tryhards especially when it comes to the fashion world.

The recent ATP Paris Masters Series tennis event was marked by some bizarre fashion statement at the awards ceremony. There seemed to be a great abundance of models wearing see-through tops for some reason?!?! They might as well have been topless.

The winner of the tournament David Nalbandian was probably smirking at how ridiculous the models looked while at the same time enjoying the view. There's a time and place for perving at lovely shaped breasts and nipples but surely it isn't during the trophy presentation at a prestigious tennis tournament. What were the French organisers thinking?

Right, I'll get my coat.....

technorati tags:fashion, French, people, David, Nalbandian, Paris, tennis, Masters, nipples, models, breasts, topless, see-through

Obese People Should Pay For 2 Seats

Have you ever had that feeling? When you're sitting on a plane and then you spot this really obese dude or woman in the distance. They're making their way down the aisle and seemingly in your direction. The reality of the situation sets in. Electrical impulses rush through your spine and head as the overweight monster slowly approaches your row of seats. Small beads of sweat start to break out on your forehead. Oh bugger, they're about to sit down next to you.

A giant woosh of air cascades across the surrounding area as the beast plonks their fat ass down on the seat next to you. You squirm uncomfortably as their extra layers of blubber encroach upon your personal space. You silently curse the ticketing lady who did the seat allocation. Your thoughts turn to despair as you wish you could curl up in a fetal position and wail like a baby because you know the upcoming flight is 8 hours long. But there's not enough to space to do that thanks to the "lunchbox" who is seated next to you.

You want to scream but you're worried that angering the beast next to you may result in oneself being sat on. You start to rationalise. Maybe I'll just keep quiet and hope that when it's meal time, "lunchbox" over there won't demand my meal as well. Then your feelings turn to resentment and anger. Surely the airline should have implemented some sort of "Fat Flyers Program" to prevent all this needless suffering. Of course they could be more tactful and call it a "slow metabolism tax". Either way, airlines should make obese people pay for 2 seats. Skinny people should not have to suffer, dammit!

Right, I'll get my coat.....

technorati tags:obese, fat, people, 2, seats, pay, more, airlines, overweight, space, plane, sit, seat

Living In Kuala Lumpur

I love living in Malaysia (Truly Asia) but some things really puzzle me about the locals in Kuala Lumpur. My meagre brain is unable to comprehend quite a number of things about the behaviour of certain Malaysians.

During Ramadan, why is it called "fasting" when the people "fasting" are doing everything so slowly? Maybe Ramadan should be a month of "slowing".

Why does the Indian dude taking your order at the "mamak" eatery wiggle his head sideways when you order something as if to say "No" when he really means "Yes"?

Why do the Chinese food vendors charge a higher price than usual if you place your order with them in English instead of Chinese?

How come the punters at Genting casino yell out "PITCHER! PITCHER!" when playing Blackjack? Are they impatiently requesting for another pitcher of beer because they are so thirsty?

Why do people like recording the license plates of motor vehicles involved in accidents and then utilise those numbers for their lottery gambling addiction?

At cinemas, why there is there a dude in one of the prime seats operating some sort of video camera device during the show?

How come motorists that have been pulled over by the police have to hand over money along with their driver's licence? I thought fines are usually paid at some sort of office?

Finally, how come I saw a bloke sprinting very quickly the other day while carrying a ladies handbag before jumping on a passing motorcycle which his mate was driving? Surely he would have been able to run faster to catch up to his mate if he wasn't carrying a handbag?

I know I asked a lot of questions but I am truly confused by all this Malaysian behaviour.

Right, I'll get my coat.....

technorati tags:Malaysia, Malaysians, Malaysian, Ramadan, Genting, Chinese, Indian, behaviour, living, KL, Kuala, Lumpur