Fergie's Amazing Weight Loss

A couple of decades ago I remember turning on the TV to watch the royal wedding of Prince Andrew and his young red-headed bride, Sarah Ferguson.

Marrying into royalty meant that "Fergie", as she became affectionately known, was bestowed the regal title of the "Duchess of York".

Several years later, after the birth of her 2 daughters, Princess Fergie had weight problems and her plump appearance became the butt of many fat jokes. The British media cruelly dubbed her the "Duchess of Pork" due to all the excess weight she had gained.

Throughout the mid 1990's Fergie began to lose the weight through a strict regime and her dieting success earned her the role as spokesperson for the global dieting consultancy "Weight Watchers".

I was surprised at how Fergie's diet and exercise program had helped her lose so much weight. She actually began to look semi-attractive again.

Soon Fergie attracted great interest in the entertainment world when she began to delve into singing and dancing. At the turn of the century, Fergie along with the "Black Eyed Peas" met with great success on the pop charts.

Fergie had now adopted a blonder and more athletic look. In fact it made her look damn fit and sexy.

Her prodigious musical talent coupled with her gorgeous figure and looks meant that her sexy image was gracing the pages of many magazines and websites.

This year she embarked on a solo career and her debut album is aptly named "Fergie: The Dutchess". It's quite a seductive album cover.

This turnaround in image by Fergie has been amazing. How did it happen so fast? My meagre brain is unable to comprehend it.

The transformation I have observed is a total mystery to me.

It's almost as though they were 2 completely different people! *eye roll*

Right, I'll get my coat.....

technorati tags:Fergie, Sarah Ferguson, Duchess, Black Eyed Peas, album, weight, fat, Weight Watchers, diet, dieting, weight loss, Princess

The Name's Bean, Sean Bean

What's your favourite movie starring Sean Bean? Mine is the one where he acts two-faced and tries to screw people over. Oh wait, he does that in almost all his movies.

Oooohhhh that Sean Bean makes me so mad! My blood boils every time I see him act sly or cunning in a movie. He looks like such a downright scoundrel too. I think it has to do with those shifty, calculating eyes, his rough looks and that upper-class British accent.

I first noticed Sean Bean over a decade ago when he acted in the James Bond film "GoldenEye" where he played the part of Alec Trevelyan aka Agent 006.

I initially felt sorry for him because he was helping out his good friend James Bond on a mission when he got captured by the Russians and was presumably killed. But as it turned out, Agent 006 had already defected to the Russians. He only faked getting captured as part of his plan to betray his good friend and the British government. Bad bloke!

When Sean Bean played the part of Boromir in the "Lord of The Rings" trilogy, he joined the fellowship as one of the good guys and swore an oath to protect the hobbits. Of course he managed to fool me again because he went ahead and did the exact opposite.

The sly, brooding weasel ended up deciding to steal Frodo's ring. The way he looked at Frodo and obsessed about his ring all the time, you just wanted to thump him. Always he was plotting and scheming. That is bang out of order trying to touch another bloke's ring.

If you're hunting for treasure with Sean Bean, you can bet that you won't be keeping any of it should you uncover the secrets of the treasure map.

In "National Treasure", him and Nicholas Cage jetted around the globe in search of various treasures. It came as no surprise that as soon as they came across some valuable artifact, Sean Bean tried to run off with it for himself and screw over his colleague. What a backstabbing thief!

Then he got really sly and cunning in "Troy". In the role of Odysseus, he came up with the idea to build a "Wooden Horse" in order to infiltrate the city of Troy. He hid in the belly of this wooden horse with all the Greeks' best soldiers. Once they got inside the walls, they emerged at night and slaughtered the sleeping Trojans. Very sneaky. Beware of Sean Bean bearing gifts.

If you ever have Sean Bean as your physician, do not follow his medical advice. Seek a second opinion as your life is surely in danger.

In "The Island", he played Merrick, a doctor/geneticist who pretended to care for the wellbeing of the citizens living in his centre. But really he was just trying to harvest their organs for the sake of making truckloads of money.

So as you can see, this man is a deceitful, snivelling, greedy, two-faced, lying traitor. I shall be fooled no more. In his future films, I shall be on full alert to see who he's trying to screw over next.

Right, I'll get my coat.....

technorati tags:movies, Sean Bean, James Bond, films, actor, British

What Juvenile People Do During Halloween

You can always tell who the juvenile delinquents are during Halloween. They're the ones over the age of 12 who still dress up in costumes in order to go around to people's houses uttering the moronic words "TRICK OR TREAT".

"Trick or Treat" is meant to be a greeting by children asking for treats (free candy) on Halloween. In truth, it's actually a thinly disguised threat. If you refuse to give them candy, they'll conspire to play a "trick" on you.

Throwing eggs and flour at the offending household is quite popular in some unruly neighbourhoods. I reckon that's a bloody outrage. They might as well rename October 31st to "GIVE ME FREE CANDY OR ELSE" Day.

But don't get me wrong. I like the idea of Halloween. I think dressing up in costumes is cool. Especially if your voice is still squeaky, you have acne-free skin and you haven't reached puberty yet. But sadly, I've answered my door to too many teenage/adult freeloaders before.

Then there are those morons (usually Americans) who decide it will be fun to torture their pets by making them wear cumbersome and uncomfortable costumes. Then they humiliate these poor animals by dragging them around the neighbourhood so that other morons can gush at how cute they look.

Hello! McFly! Anybody home? Your pets already have fur coats. Putting costumes on them for your amusement is just doubling up and may cause them unnecessary distress.

Another tradition practised by the desperate and lonely superstitious, is the one where you look in the mirror at midnight on Halloween. Apparently, you will gain a vision of your future spouse?!

You can't see me right now but I'm actually rolling my eyes.

Right, I'll get my coat.....

technorati tags:Halloween, Halloween costumes, costumes, Trick or Treat, candy, pet costumes