Tuesday, October 31, 2006

What Juvenile People Do During Halloween

You can always tell who the juvenile delinquents are during Halloween. They're the ones over the age of 12 who still dress up in costumes in order to go around to people's houses uttering the moronic words "TRICK OR TREAT".

"Trick or Treat" is meant to be a greeting by children asking for treats (free candy) on Halloween. In truth, it's actually a thinly disguised threat. If you refuse to give them candy, they'll conspire to play a "trick" on you.

Throwing eggs and flour at the offending household is quite popular in some unruly neighbourhoods. I reckon that's a bloody outrage. They might as well rename October 31st to "GIVE ME FREE CANDY OR ELSE" Day.

But don't get me wrong. I like the idea of Halloween. I think dressing up in costumes is cool. Especially if your voice is still squeaky, you have acne-free skin and you haven't reached puberty yet. But sadly, I've answered my door to too many teenage/adult freeloaders before.

Then there are those morons (usually Americans) who decide it will be fun to torture their pets by making them wear cumbersome and uncomfortable costumes. Then they humiliate these poor animals by dragging them around the neighbourhood so that other morons can gush at how cute they look.

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Hello! McFly! Anybody home? Your pets already have fur coats. Putting costumes on them for your amusement is just doubling up and may cause them unnecessary distress.

Another tradition practised by the desperate and lonely superstitious, is the one where you look in the mirror at midnight on Halloween. Apparently, you will gain a vision of your future spouse?!

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You can't see me right now but I'm actually rolling my eyes.

Right, I'll get my coat.....

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