Sunday, November 05, 2006

The Name's Bean, Sean Bean

What's your favourite movie starring Sean Bean? Mine is the one where he acts two-faced and tries to screw people over. Oh wait, he does that in almost all his movies.

Oooohhhh that Sean Bean makes me so mad! My blood boils every time I see him act sly or cunning in a movie. He looks like such a downright scoundrel too. I think it has to do with those shifty, calculating eyes, his rough looks and that upper-class British accent.

I first noticed Sean Bean over a decade ago when he acted in the James Bond film "GoldenEye" where he played the part of Alec Trevelyan aka Agent 006.

I initially felt sorry for him because he was helping out his good friend James Bond on a mission when he got captured by the Russians and was presumably killed. But as it turned out, Agent 006 had already defected to the Russians. He only faked getting captured as part of his plan to betray his good friend and the British government. Bad bloke!

When Sean Bean played the part of Boromir in the "Lord of The Rings" trilogy, he joined the fellowship as one of the good guys and swore an oath to protect the hobbits. Of course he managed to fool me again because he went ahead and did the exact opposite.

The sly, brooding weasel ended up deciding to steal Frodo's ring. The way he looked at Frodo and obsessed about his ring all the time, you just wanted to thump him. Always he was plotting and scheming. That is bang out of order trying to touch another bloke's ring.

If you're hunting for treasure with Sean Bean, you can bet that you won't be keeping any of it should you uncover the secrets of the treasure map.

In "National Treasure", him and Nicholas Cage jetted around the globe in search of various treasures. It came as no surprise that as soon as they came across some valuable artifact, Sean Bean tried to run off with it for himself and screw over his colleague. What a backstabbing thief!

Then he got really sly and cunning in "Troy". In the role of Odysseus, he came up with the idea to build a "Wooden Horse" in order to infiltrate the city of Troy. He hid in the belly of this wooden horse with all the Greeks' best soldiers. Once they got inside the walls, they emerged at night and slaughtered the sleeping Trojans. Very sneaky. Beware of Sean Bean bearing gifts.

If you ever have Sean Bean as your physician, do not follow his medical advice. Seek a second opinion as your life is surely in danger.

In "The Island", he played Merrick, a doctor/geneticist who pretended to care for the wellbeing of the citizens living in his centre. But really he was just trying to harvest their organs for the sake of making truckloads of money.

So as you can see, this man is a deceitful, snivelling, greedy, two-faced, lying traitor. I shall be fooled no more. In his future films, I shall be on full alert to see who he's trying to screw over next.

Right, I'll get my coat.....

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1 comment:

Kevin H. said...

BS. You misunderstand Sean Bean.