Evil Cat

I've decided to name and shame the big, overweight, unfit, fat, orange cat that scratched me the other day. Her real name is "Ginger". This is what she looks like.....

Look at that cold, steely gaze.....She's pure evil I tell ya!

This tub of lard doesn't do much all day. She mainly lies around looking grumpy, when she's not eating, that is. Look at her lying there on the bed like a beached whale.....

She's just begging for someone to pinch that fatty underbelly of hers.

For some reason, "Ginger" loves to dwell in cardboard boxes. She can't get enough of curling up in any boxes that are lying around the house. Most likely, the cardboard box and her thick layer of fat provides "Ginger" with comfortable insulation.


Look at her.....Looking so smug, comfortable and insulated.....

Make sure you don't disturb her though or the evil claws come out.

Maybe if "Ginger" scratches me again, I will have take it down the road to the nearby Chinese restaurant. You know what I'm saying?!

Maybe then it can get to dwell in a different type of cardboard box.....

WAH! Number 68: Sweet & Sour Cat!

Disclaimer: My family used to own a Chinese restaurant and I can vouch that no cat products were ever used as cooking ingredients. (Dog meat was by far much cheaper.)

Right, I'll get my coat.....

Women Wearing The Same Outfits

I once attended a class at university where the lecturer was wearing the exact same brand name collared shirt as myself. Feeling a slight bit of embarrassment, I sat farther back in the lecture hall that day and had a laugh about it with my mates.

I think the situation is deemed more socially embarrassing when it arises between 2 women. Look what happened at the "Premiere Magazine Women In Hollywood" gala held a couple of nights ago in L.A.

Are Christina Applegate and Rachel Griffiths such close buddies that they called each other up before the awards ceremony to make sure they would wear the exact Hugo Boss dress?

But seriously, I can only image the feeling is 100 times worse for women celebrities who attend award ceremonies and get photographed in front of the worldwide media.

At least Christina Applegate and Rachel Griffiths didn't do what Zhang Ziyi did at the Venice Film Festival earlier this month. Here's the polka-dot Armani dress Zhang Ziyi wore.....

Two months earlier, the outfit worn by Xu Jinglei at a press conference.....

Hard to "spot" the difference hey?

Right, I'll get my coat.....

Dogs Are Better Than Cats

I got scratched by a cat the other day. A big, overweight, unfit, fat, orange cat. A grumpy one too. In fact, it looked and acted a lot like Garfield.

There I was trying to make friends with this orange tub of lard while trying to distract it from the bunch of flowers it wasn't supposed to be sniffing when suddenly.....WHOOSH! It took a huge swipe at my hand with its obese, lumpy excuse for a paw. Perfect aim too. Ouch!

Cats can be so moody and aloof. It's sickening: The pompous way they prowl around and fuss over their fur by licking themselves incessantly. Pffff! Give me the company of a dog any day.

Dogs tend to be more playful and they can be endearingly foolish. That's why I reckon most people enjoy their presence so much. We get our kicks from watching them run into things, bark at inanimate objects, chase their own tails and hump soft toys. A dog also won't easily get bored of fetching things you throw for them. A cat will just ignore you.

Most dog owners, whether they admit it or not, also like the assurance a dog brings. Think of your own dog. When you come home, they thinks it's amazing. You walk in the door and the joy of this experience overwhelms them. They jump around excitedly wagging their tails....HE'S BACK! IT'S THAT DUDE! THAT DUDE WHO HOUSES AND PLAYS WITH ME!

They can't believe it. Everything about you is amazing to your dog. When dinner time comes around.....WHAT? ANOTHER PACKET OF FOOD? I DON'T BELIEVE IT. THIS DUDE IS A LEGEND!

So the next time you're in a foul mood because you had a bad day or your favourite sporting team just lost, don't take it out on your dog. Go outside and find a stray cat in the street to kick instead.

Right, I'll get my coat.....