Monday, December 31, 2007

Ellen DeGeneres Can't Dance

One of the most cringeworthy television moments one possibly has to endure is watching the opening sequence in the Ellen DeGeneres Show when Ellen starts to dance. Ellen can not help herself. She can not NOT dance. Every bloody show after she does her intro, the music comes on and then she prances around the stage and shimmies into the crowd with her embarrassing dance moves. AAarrrgh! This cringefest is enough to send shivers down my spine while my sphincter muscles tighten up in response to the unbearable scenes.


The bizarre thing is that the crowd absolutely lap it up. There must be something in the alcohol err, I mean, the water, they hand out to the studio audience. Some of these excitable women are just begging for Ellen to gyrate with them and perform her robot dance moves. They're absolutely loving it as they bounce around and dance like idiots along with Ellen. Maybe they think the TV cameras pointed at them aren't real?

Let me say that I don't actually watch the Ellen Degeneres Show on a regular basis. It's just that when you're channel surfing and you come across such a hideous sight as Ellen dancing, you can't bring yourself to change channel. It's like watching a horrible road accident. Let's hope other TV hosts don't get bitten by the "Gotta Dance" bug.

Right, I'll get my coat.....

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11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Worderfully put, like watching a road accident. Its so awful that you can't change the channel. It makes me want to put her down, like a suffering animal.

Anonymous said...

I loved reading your Ellen can't dance post. Just watching her dance at the moment and it's just ridiculous! Why she makes a segment of her crappy dancing is beyond me.

Anonymous said...

If u knew anything about dancing, u would knw that she can in fact get down! For a white chick, she's got some moves on her! You go girl!

Anonymous said...

I just watched another attempt.. HAHA She CAN NOT DANCE -

Anonymous said...

watchin it now.... whats the story with danncing over the table????

love ellen.... but she cant dance..
shes like an irish lad at a disco.

Anne said...

Screw you. Just because she makes millions of people smile every day from getting up and dancing, where's the harm in that? Pick on someone else, please. Someone who deserves it.

Anonymous said...

Give me a break. She does the same move over and over again. The intro is cute but goes on way tooooo long.

Anonymous said...

Ellen represents the desires of so many people-to get up and do something crazy without caring what anyone thinks about you. You don't have to be able to do something perfectly to do it at all. All that matters is that you feel good about being yourself. I think that is what Ellen espouses in her dancing. It makes her seem more human and more normal than most other celebrities. That is why so many people love her! Not to mention its funny as hell! I have to admit I jump off my couch and start dancing with her sometimes.

Anonymous said...

It's this simple: she sucks.

chrisg said...

At best, you could call it funny walking.

Anonymous said...

She is terribly self conscious as she attempts those awkward non rhythmic moves. Perhaps if they would play something other than that lame hip hop crap and go with rock n roll she would elevate her moves to simply bad rather than nauseating