Friday, October 06, 2006

I'm So Tough.....By Malaysian Standards

I'm so tough that I let my Indonesian maid iron my shirts.....While I'm still wearing them.

I'm so tough that I don't drink "100 PLUS".

I drink "101 PLUS".....Without a straw.

I'm so tough that I don't get diarrhea from eating "mamak" food anymore. The bacteria / germs see me coming and say "SHIT! It's him! Let's get out of here!"

I'm so tough that my Streamyx internet service doesn’t dare to go down.....The same applies for my ASTRO TV services during thunderstorms.

I'm so tough that if I were muslim, during Ramadhan, I would not eat at night time AS WELL. If I somehow decided to eat, I would not "break" my fast. I would "DESTROY" it!

I'm so tough that when I commit a traffic offence, the cops give me the chance to settle the "saman".....By offering to bribe ME.

I'm so tough that when I get into public taxis, the driver takes me to the destination using the shortest route and actually charges me with the meter. If I don’t like the Bollywood music they’re playing , the ride is free.

I'm so tough that even the stinkiest durians in markets/pasar malams are afraid of my smell.

I'm so tough that pirated DVD sellers will say "I am a lying, deceitful dumbass. I was going to sell you an unclear, incomplete version of the movie. But you look so tough. May I please buy you the original DVD?"

I'm so tough that all buffet restaurants go bankrupt and close down after I dine in once.

I'm so tough that vendors in Petaling Street will bargain the price down for me themselves.....While I stand there looking tough.

I'm so tough that Malaysian crime rates double when I leave the country on holiday.

I'm so tough that when I'm late, I don't need to use the petty excuse "I was stuck in a jam".

Actually, I'm so tough I don't get stuck in jams.

Finally.....I'm so tough that if anyone reading this doesn't link me to their site, I will hunt them down and spam their "Comments" field with Viagra & Penis Enlargement ads: Products which I don't need of course, because I’m so tough.

Right, I'll get my coat.....

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