Saturday, September 30, 2006

Gay Mate At The Gym

Excerpt from an email I received from my homophobic friend:

"I've got a gay mate. Known him for about 8 years. He's a really decent bloke. The thing is, recently he joined my gym. I see him there about 3 or 4 times a week. I'm getting a bit concerned about how to act in the locker room when we arrive at the gym or leave the gym at the same time. It's especially awkward when our times to shower overlap! Any advice on how to handle this situation?"

Reply to my homophobic friend:

G'day mate, I have a suggestion.....

Try growing up. If that's not possible.....

Tell your mate that you have a small penis and get embarrassed easily by it so you would prefer to change/shower alone. After all, honesty is the best policy. He should be put off enough to lose any interest. Remember to look embarrassed.

If you drop the soap in the shower, don't pick it up.

Don't flick him with your towel. That would be considered as flirting.

Don't smack him on the butt and say "Great workout. Time to hit the showers."

Alternatively, if he's actually interested and you're feeling adventurous, let him have his way with you. You might enjoy it. You're an England football fan, right? Just close your eyes and think of David Beckham. Here's a picture to help get you started.....

Right, I'll get my coat.....

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