Sexiest Bikini Outfits In Film

Not many people can pull off the bikini look. After much exhausting web surfing, I have narrowed it down to my top 5 sexiest bikini outfits in film. Yes, it was really hard work "researching" all of those half-naked pictures.

However, these celebrities certainly deserve much kudos for appearing in movies wearing such skimpy outfits and managing to look good in them.

At number 5 on the list we have Cameron Diaz in this stunning little white number. She had to "pretend" to be a blonde, goofy, airhead, surfer chick in "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle". It was quite a forgettable film with Cameron's outfit being the one redeeming feature.

Number 4 is Halle Berry for her appearance in the James Bond film "Die Another Day". This was her only movie during 2001 & 2002 when she didn't appear topless or naked. Well, it was close enough.

All Star Wars nerds can relate to number 3. This is of course Carrie Fisher wearing her gold metal bikini in "Return of the Jedi" when she becomes Jabba The Hutt's slave. It doesn't make sense that Princess Leia should be dressed in this gold bikini in terms of the storyline but then again neither does the Ewoks defeating well-armed Stormtroopers with sticks and stones later in the film.

Number 2 is Jessica Alba for when she practically spent the whole time in the movie "Into the Blue" wearing a bikini. How awesome was that. I think Jessica should only make films set on tropical beaches or in open water requiring her to swim a lot.

To prove she's not shy in real life either, here she is below showing off her assets at a public beach. As you can see, all the guys just stop in their tracks and stare at her. Well, everyone except that dumbass who's looking in the wrong direction. But then again he's probably checking out one of the male life guards.....

The number 1 position for sexiest bikini outfit in a film was a no-brainer. It clearly goes to Sacha Baron Cohen for this sexy fluorescent green outfit. Someone please tell me where I can buy one of these sexy costumes?

Anyone who has watched "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" would know exactly how studly Borat Sagdiyev was in this outfit. Look at the guy. He's a chick magnet!

Right, I'll get my coat.....

technorati tags:bikini, outfits, Borat, Carrie Fisher, Halle Berry, Cameron Diaz, Jessica Alba, Princess Leia, pictures, topless, naked, James Bond

London 2012 Olympics Sexual Logo

Is it just me or does the new logo for the London 2012 Olympics look kind of erotic?

To the untrained eye, the logo may seem to be 4 numbers that represent the year 2012 but FFS, let's face it, the logo looks like a chick performing fellatio innit? This logo would be suitable if the Olympics were being held in say, Essex, because of all the slappers they have there and perhaps even Swindon because of the high amount of teenage pregnancies there. But this logo is an embarrassment to the great city of London.

Did the planning committee not see the girl bent down on her knees? Maybe I'm just turning into a perverted old man. Oh look.....Now there are many young ladies pleasuring men.

Maybe they should put these images up at Heathrow Airport. New arrivals to the country could point to these pictures and ask "Which way to the prostitutes, please?"

They should have just stuck with something similar to the logo that won them the right to host the Olympic Games in the first place.

Right, I'll get my coat.....

technorati tags:Olympics, London, 2012, sexual, logo, Essex, Olympic Games, fellatio, Swindon, host

QANTAS Sucks

Well, that's the opinion of my QANTAS frequent flyer friend. Let's call him "Gav" so people won't know his real name is Gavin. Anyway, my mate "Gav" is seething. He has lambasted the service of this airline as disgraceful. Maybe my mate "Gav" is just upset because the QANTAS stewardess only gave him a packet of peanuts while actor Ralph Fiennes got the mile high sex in the bathroom treatment on his flight from Darwin to Mumbai.

Now I don't like to bag Australian companies, especially one that has been such an enduring icon of Aussie industry.....But I will anyway.

Passengers were recently asked to rate different airlines in a survey conducted by Choice Magazine. As you can see from the results, QANTAS did exceptionally poor even in comparison with Malaysia Airlines and Thai Airways.

Meanwhile, Singapore Airlines blitzed all of their rivals. Their board of executives must get sexually aroused everytime they glance at these survey results. I know I get quite excited when analysing meaningful statistical figures.

The bottom line is QANTAS scored very low on all categories of service. They have disgraced themselves and disgraced all Australians living around the world. So yeah, what a crap airline. Let's flame them!

First of all, what a ridiculous name. The word "QANTAS" doesn't even have the letter "U" after the "Q". Pfff! What a bunch of spelling NOOBS.

If you remove the letter "Q" from the airline's name and re-arrange the letters, you get the word "SATAN". The airline is obviously full of devil worshippers.

Another thing I've noticed is that QANTAS male stewards are a bit too, well, "male". Don't they realise that passengers feel less threatened when served by a bunch of girly men? Malaysia Airlines have the right idea with their effeminate stewards in their girly green suits.

As for the stewardesses, why do QANTAS hire ex-high class prostitutes to work only in the first class section? Why aren't there sluts to service the economy passengers too? Like in Singapore Airlines.

The corporate logo of QANTAS is a flying kangaroo. There are so many Australian animals out there that fly, like the kookaburra. But the dumbasses decided "Hey, let's pick a kangaroo and pretend it does".

Did you know that QANTAS are one of the few airlines out there that have never had a serious plane accident resulting in many deaths? By that rationale, if something hasn't happened in such a long time, surely it's going to happen sooner or later. QANTAS is obviously an airline disaster waiting to happen.

So that's it. I shall no longer be eating their airline food, stealing their blankets, requesting for their free decks of cards or ogling their stewardesses.....Until the next biased airlines survey comes out.

Right, I'll get my coat.....

technorati tags:QANTAS, airways, airlines, Thai, Malaysia, survey, Choice Magazine, stewardess, sex, airline, Ralph Fiennes, Singapore