QANTAS Sucks

Well, that's the opinion of my QANTAS frequent flyer friend. Let's call him "Gav" so people won't know his real name is Gavin. Anyway, my mate "Gav" is seething. He has lambasted the service of this airline as disgraceful. Maybe my mate "Gav" is just upset because the QANTAS stewardess only gave him a packet of peanuts while actor Ralph Fiennes got the mile high sex in the bathroom treatment on his flight from Darwin to Mumbai.

Now I don't like to bag Australian companies, especially one that has been such an enduring icon of Aussie industry.....But I will anyway.

Passengers were recently asked to rate different airlines in a survey conducted by Choice Magazine. As you can see from the results, QANTAS did exceptionally poor even in comparison with Malaysia Airlines and Thai Airways.

Meanwhile, Singapore Airlines blitzed all of their rivals. Their board of executives must get sexually aroused everytime they glance at these survey results. I know I get quite excited when analysing meaningful statistical figures.

The bottom line is QANTAS scored very low on all categories of service. They have disgraced themselves and disgraced all Australians living around the world. So yeah, what a crap airline. Let's flame them!

First of all, what a ridiculous name. The word "QANTAS" doesn't even have the letter "U" after the "Q". Pfff! What a bunch of spelling NOOBS.

If you remove the letter "Q" from the airline's name and re-arrange the letters, you get the word "SATAN". The airline is obviously full of devil worshippers.

Another thing I've noticed is that QANTAS male stewards are a bit too, well, "male". Don't they realise that passengers feel less threatened when served by a bunch of girly men? Malaysia Airlines have the right idea with their effeminate stewards in their girly green suits.

As for the stewardesses, why do QANTAS hire ex-high class prostitutes to work only in the first class section? Why aren't there sluts to service the economy passengers too? Like in Singapore Airlines.

The corporate logo of QANTAS is a flying kangaroo. There are so many Australian animals out there that fly, like the kookaburra. But the dumbasses decided "Hey, let's pick a kangaroo and pretend it does".

Did you know that QANTAS are one of the few airlines out there that have never had a serious plane accident resulting in many deaths? By that rationale, if something hasn't happened in such a long time, surely it's going to happen sooner or later. QANTAS is obviously an airline disaster waiting to happen.

So that's it. I shall no longer be eating their airline food, stealing their blankets, requesting for their free decks of cards or ogling their stewardesses.....Until the next biased airlines survey comes out.

Right, I'll get my coat.....

technorati tags:QANTAS, airways, airlines, Thai, Malaysia, survey, Choice Magazine, stewardess, sex, airline, Ralph Fiennes, Singapore

Domino's Pizza Online Coupon Code

Altruism (al-troo-iz-uhm) noun - The principle or practice of unselfish concern for or devotion to the welfare of others. (as opposed to egoism)

NERD Altruism - Giving away online codes for cheap pizza.

Domino's has felt the compulsion to inform me by electronic mail that the school holidays are upon us in Malaysia (Truly Asia). Their strangely appealing marketing suggestion is that one should purchase pizza from their plethora of outlets to commemorate this occasion.

With the following code "EMSB3" one may purchase online, one large pizza, one regular pizza and a large bottle of Coca-Cola for RM34.80. But wait, there's more. They'll also chuck in a free "CinnaStix", which is a strange cross between a loaf of bread and a donut. To quote from Mick "Crocodile" Dundee....."You can eat it but it tastes like shit".

Despite my godlike will power and gargantuan mental strength, I feel I am not able to contain myself any longer and I shall be visiting their website to place my pizza order within the next 24 hours. Resistance is useless methinks. I could try not to order Domino's in the next 24 hours but I would not be successful. It would be an act in futility.

So go forth my skinny Malaysian friends.....Order away! Save yourself from that vulgar task of ordering over the phone in Manglish and achieve true nerd status instead by buying your pizzas online. No mix-ups and no ghastly rehearsed marketing spiels.

Code expires 30th June 2007.

Right, I'll get my coat.....

technorati tags:Dominos, Domino's, pizza, coupon, Malaysia, online, Pizza Hut, code, delivery, Cinnastix, altruism, nerd

Australian Government Doesn't Want Malaysians

I was pleasantly surprised recently to learn that the Australian Government has added more countries to their Working Holiday Visa Program. This visa allows people from overseas aged below 30 to live, work and travel in Australia for up to 12 months. They can enter the country as many times as they want in that 1-year period.

As of February 1st 2007, tertiary-educated citizens from Chile, Iran and Thailand have been added to the long list of countries already eligible for this working holiday visa. Turkey and Bangladesh are other countries that will soon follow suit. A glaring omission on this list is Malaysia (Truly Asia).

For a country that has so many of their students studying in Australia, this seems inexplicable. Malaysians are everywhere around Australian university campuses. I have been astonished by the amount of "tudungs" I've come across while lining up in school cafeterias. "Mind the ham/bacon/pork dishes, ladies" I would think to myself and then realise "Woohoo! More for me."

There are Malaysians in lecture halls, tutorial rooms, the library and especially in the computing labs. Free email and internet lah! When you do group projects, chances are you'll get buddied up with some nerdy Malaysian computer whiz kid. Of course, you let him do the computing part of the project because if he does the public speaking part, his propensity to finish sentences off with the word "lah" is generally frowned upon by the university staff grading you.

So how come Malaysia has been left off this list when clearly any Tom, Dick and Harry (Or should that be Fernando, Darius and Thaksin) from Chile, Iran and Thailand can get in? My guess is because Malaysia is a predominantly muslim country with some radical elements and may be regarded as potentially undesirable. The fact that the Australian embassy in KL recently got attacked by extremists doesn't help things either. Kind of unfortunate, don't you think?

But there are other options to obtain an Australian visa to migrate into the country. You just need to score 120 points in a test based on age, education, occupation, work experience, language skills etc. And no, these visas don't discriminate based on nationality. Worth looking into.

Right, I'll get my coat.....

technorati tags:Australia, Australian, visa, migrate, Malaysia, university, Working Holiday, Iran, Chile, Thailand, Bangladesh, Turkey, government