Job Ad For Porn Movies Made in KL

My mate Tommy is a bit of a larrakin and sent the following job ad to me in case I wanted to spend my time in KL acting in porn movies.

This ad appeared the other week in a prominent Australian online job database and they're looking for an expat to work in Malaysia. Apparently Kuala Lumpur has a porn industry! 30-40 movies made each year for this company alone is a lot of porn.

My favourite part of the ad: "You will be expected to have sexual contact with a number of adult film personalities including Gay Male, Hetero & Homosexual Females, MILF and Midget Stars. Occasional contact with ANIMAL ACTORS may be required as well."

I said "No thanks Tommy, I love animals but I just don't wanna LOVE animals."

Right, I'll get my coat.....

Being In Debt / Owing Money

I hate being in a position where you owe money to someone. Money is the root of all evil. Getting rid of any debt as soon as possible is a good idea and prevents any future issues.

I had borrowed 50 bucks one night from my mate Alexander because we were nowhere near an ATM. The next day, I gladly slid him the pink envelope with the 50 bucks inside it. Pink is not my colour but it was the only envelope I could find and I wanted to set the money aside for him.

"There you go mate. Thanks for spotting me the cash last night. Debt repaid."

"No worries" Alexander replied.

He looked distracted as we were running late and rushing into the casino to meet up with some mates. We eventually reached our rendezvous point in the casino bar.

Casinos are such interesting places. People tend to show their true colours when gambling. Rarely are fortunes made but you can usually spot the losers. Their misery is sketched all over their faces and you can imagine the debt they must have racked up trying for that elusive big win.

Two hours had passed and Alexander strode back to our table with a gleeful look on his face.

"How did you do?" I excitedly quizzed.

"Good. I'm up 200 bucks, I've spent 50 dollars at the bar but you still owe me that 50 from last night....."

"Err.....I already paid you back. Remember?"

"When?" Alexander retorted with an incredulous look on his face.

"Today. Before we arrived here."

"No?! I don't recall."

An uncomfortable silence arose. An awkward situation indeed. Being in debt to someone, paying them back and them not remembering.

Calmly I reminded Alexander "If I haven't paid you back then what are you doing with a pink envelope in your pocket?"

"Are you some sort of pink envelope-carrying girly-man?" I chuckled.

The realisation spread across Alexander's face "That's all you had to say."

I guess even your closest mates may sometimes not remember you giving them money so it's always handy to have some bright-coloured envelopes lying around the house.

Right, I'll get my coat.....

The Evolution of the Telephone

This is what our household telephone looked like when I was a kid.....

But technology evolved and soon we got a wall telephone and the annoying rotary dial was replaced with buttons that made sounds when you pushed them.....

Then came the cordless phone which provided greater convenience as you could talk while walking around the house.....

Not that the cordless phone has made a great difference to the more senior people that I've observed. Even now when the phone rings, I've noticed how members of the older generation still carry the phone over to the "phone table" before answering?!?!

Then about 5 years ago, one of my trendier aunties bought herself a mobile phone like the one below.....

As you can see, it was a basic, compact handset that allowed her to talk and send SMS. Although it did take her a couple of months to get proficient at sending text messages. The dictionary function was a tad confusing to use at first.

Finally convinced she was as technologically advanced as any youngster, my auntie recently upgraded to a new mobile phone with a camera and various applications.....

On one occasion she rang me (from her "phone table", I assume) and the following chain of events ensued.....

Auntie: "Minny, I've just taken some nice pictures of your cousins and our new house. I'll show them to you the next time you come down to visit."

Me: "Why don't you just send the pictures to my phone and I'll have a look?"

Auntie: "How do I do that?"

Me: "Just send them, like when you send me a text message."

Auntie: "I'm not doing that. I want to keep these pictures on my phone so I can look at them later."

Me: "You wont lose them. Sending an MMS just means you'll be sending me a copy of the photos."

Auntie: "But when I send an SMS, that doesn't stay on my phone."

Me: "That's because you didn't save the message first."

Auntie: "Well, how about this.....why don't I send the pictures to you, you can have a look, and then you can send them back to me?"

Me: *sigh* "Auntie, there's no need. The pictures will stay on your phone."

Auntie: "I'm not sending the pictures unless you promise to send them back. I don't want to lose the photos."

Eventually I relented and agreed that I would send the pictures back to my auntie after I had viewed them on my phone.

After we hung up, half an hour passed and I still hadn't received any of the pictures. I called my auntie back asking if she had sent the photos because I still hadn't received them. After checking her phone, my "technologically advanced" auntie realised she had sent them to my house phone number.

Right, I'll get my coat.....